Finally and Forever
by Lady Jesca
Summary: What did Spike really loose when Buffy died?


Finally and Forever (PG-13)  
  
This is just a little snippet that I wrote. It takes place during The Gift, I think. It's when Buffy goes up to her room to get additional weapons. Of course they didn't show it, but they showed that part where Spike looks upstairs after her. So I wrote this to fit within that episode.  
  
Enjoy!  
  
**~**  
  
Buffy stuffed a few weapons into her bag. What good was a stake going to do against a god? She shook her head disgustedly, but then hesitated and but the stake in anyway. Just in case. She turned to get the nasty dagger as her thoughts drifted to it and nearly screamed when she saw him in the doorway of her bedroom.  
  
"Spike, what are you doing here?" They didn't have time for this. Or did they? What if the end of the world was coming tonight? Now may be the only time they had. She cocked her head quizzically at him, waiting for his answer.  
  
Spike just stared at her for a moment. When she looked at him like she might tell him what was on her mind back on the staircase, he chickened out and cut her off, waving her away to get the weapons. Weapons to fight a god for the fate of the world. What if there was no world after tonight. Could he do this then? Could he risk it one more time?  
  
"I don't know."  
  
Buffy took a deep breath and watched his blue eyes search her face.  
  
"We have to go soon."  
  
"I know. But not yet."  
  
Buffy watched him walk to her slowly, almost unsure of himself.  
  
She opened her mouth to protest, and he could see the spell the moment was casting wavering and he held up his hand.  
  
"Not yet. I just want to do this one more time."  
  
She waited, closing her mouth.  
  
"Tonight might be the end of the world. Like you said. Not everyone is coming back. I know damn well I'm going to give everything I got to get the girl back and to keep you safe. So, I figure, I may not be coming back."  
  
Buffy tried to interrupt again but this time he was close enough to put his fingers on her lips. They were soft to the touch and he ached to kiss them, but for now, words were needed. They fought to get out of him, almost like he knew for certain he wasn't surviving the night.  
  
"I just need to tell you one more time. I know you'll never love me. But I love you. And believe me, I didn't want too. Loving the slayer was, well, not what I had in mind. I mean that was for poofs like your Angel. Not for me. Hell, I bloody well didn't need the hassle or the pain I know he went through. But here I am and I can't help it. I love you. It hasn't been a picnic let me tell you. You've been down right nasty at times, Slayer. You've knocked me down so many times I wondered if I should even get up, not to mention wondering if I could. Every time I tried to be true with you, well you wouldn't have it. But you know I wouldn't trade it for anything. Loving you has been the best thing I'll ever do." He swallowed. "And I just wanted you to know that before the end of the world."  
  
Spike let his fingers fall from her lips and he started to turn to leave, just wanting to remember the moment without her protests. But when she grabbed his duster, he was prevented from leaving. So he stared at her.  
  
"I love you, too."  
  
A blink to make sure this wasn't a dream. His eyes widened and he found himself speechless again, just as he did when she kissed him in his crypt after the bot incident.  
  
Slowly, but quick enough that Spike knew his wish for time standing still was being ignored, she stood on her tip toes and tilted her head to one side. Stunned, Spike just let her come. He knew he should be meeting her half way, but the end of the kiss would signify the end of this, and he never wanted it to end.  
  
Slowly, his lips experienced the softness known to his fingers moments ago as her lips pressed and slightly opened over his. His arms went around her, pulling her close as his own lips reacted under hers, opening to rub and caress every line in her lips, tracing a few he missed with his cool tongue.  
  
Buffy let her own tongue meet his and as the tips of their tongues touched, it was like the world had already ended. Nothing existed but what was tangible, and kissable, right now.  
  
But as all magic ends, so do all magic moments. And as Buffy and Spike pulled away from their last kiss, they both felt a need to finish this night's work, and hope that tomorrow would bring them many more moments, just like this one. 


End file.
